I’m going to try and start blogging again. Let’s see how it goes.
The other night I was going through some of my old stuff on here and *cringing* so much. I’m cringing a little bit writing this now. For someone who spends their life making “electronic communications”, I don’t feel that my “e-voice” is really me. I don’t feel like what I am writing is who I am, I especially feel that what I have written is not who I am.
Which leads me to a number of possible conclusions:
I haven’t had much time for self-reflection over the past year. In fact, I haven’t had much time for anything. I think that some form of reflection is essential, and blogging is the one that I have chosen.
Since finishing Uni I spent a few months doing nothing but pretending to be looking for a job. Somehow I managed to find one and my life ran away since then. I worked in theatre from October till around April this year. In February this year I took another job with a virtual worlds company. I carried on at the theatre as a freelance artist from April till… well, still doing it now… I took on more freelance work with the virtual world… at one point I was working 14 hours a day minimum every day of the week. But somewhere along the line my employer, Justine, at the virtual world company stopped paying my invoices. I went on holiday beginning of October this year, and while there had some kind of epiphany moment (probably because I had done nothing but work since around June) and decided to jack it all in… which I did promptly upon getting back to England.
So I’m in an interesting “dazed” place… wondering where the last 8 months went, what I do next, who I am, what’s even important in life.
I’m still at the theatre and Justine would talk me back… but she has confessed that money is tight. Currently she has a team of volunteers and interns doing my job and the place is falling apart. I don’t know if I give a shit. I was fine working for free and trying to push the business forward while I still thought there was a chance of it ever being successful… but I can’t see it anymore.
I’ve realised that my time and my youth are precious. I used to actually go out and do what I wanted, when I wanted, and “live for the moment” (a phrase that grates on me!) and I don’t when it was that I became so work-obsessed. That’s the only thing I do know… I am obsessive, compulsive, addictive… so wherever I go next I’ll be in it way over my head as usual.
Let’s see if I can keep this blogging up and discover who I really am.
So, it’s been over a year since the Karmapoliceman blog disappeared. A “tumblr celebrity” who broke a lot of hearts, caused a lot of shit for a lot of people, and left a lot of questions unanswered.
Probably a schizophrenic. Certainly not the guy in the pics - the real identity of the person in the pics of “Nate” is a guy from America called Brooks - and leaving no truth in his address, his family details, anything whatsoever. The weight of the evidence strongly suggests that he never existed.
But he did “exist” and a lot of people loved him - he was real to us, right?
Please reblog and spread the word - we want to find the real person who was behind Nathaniel and let them know that it’s OK!
Electronic interactions and relationships transcend age, gender, beauty - everything that typically holds a person down in “real life”. Nathaniel will always be real because he was born of real emotions.
Email me at p-h-il@live.com if you have any information!
جنّة ♥ jan-♪★ says: yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay i want to marry you. Phil- Boy, give me all that you got, Gotta make it hot for me, Keep it comin’, don’t stop! says: if we’re both still single at 25 and not had a serious relationship yet we’ll get married جنّة ♥ jan-♪★ says: i’m being serious lets to do it Phil- Boy, give me all that you got, Gotta make it hot for me, Keep it comin’, don’t stop! says: i am too جنّة ♥ jan-♪★ says: brilliant oh man, but do i have to have sex with you LMFAO i’d rather not nothing to do with you i’m just scared lmao oh who gives a damn i’ll have sex with you LMFAO Phil- Boy, give me all that you got, Gotta make it hot for me, Keep it comin’, don’t stop! says: LMFAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOO جنّة ♥ jan-♪★ says: LMFAO <3 omg are you gonna blog that? i can imagine you blogging it
Standing In The Lightfield...: Do me a favour. -
http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/poetry05-10/8422696
The link above, is to a website where you can buy a book of beautiful poetry, written by one of my really good friends.
Its not too much money, and I know he would be truly grateful if you bought it.
Trust me, He is incredibly…
Thankyou.
God bless you.
It seems expensive, but publishing costs were high.
Get it ordered!
You have to take a nail really short to stop a minor split from spreading.
All that time and effort.
Wasted.
:(
Good luck with that.
I want a horse.
I want to live in 19th Century England, buff myself up with all that crazy white make-up and a fantastically, curvily cut suit, and trot about on a horse.
And original…
But it seems that ‘Romantic Masculinities’ is a more popular topic than I imagined. There’s even a book with that exact title.
Sigh.
Back to the other ideas for my PhD: Wordsworth and Chaucer, Man-Dog Literature, or Contemporary Self-Subversion.